Monday, March 8, 2010

darker days


I want to be a robot,
a robot's always numb.
cause how can you feel pain
when there are lasers in your bum!

Person 1: I told you no, but didn't tell you why, for fear of hurting you. Now you so easily come to me with your problems about her. I don't care; I don't at all. But, how do you know that? How can you be sure this does not hurt me? I am once again enlightened to your selfish ways.

Person 2: Your initials, when said aloud, sound the way they do for a reason. You are empty. You are devoid of all rationality and reason. You care as little for me as you do for anyone else. How could you be okay with what he did to me? I messed up too, that is true, but nothing justifies me being treated that way. And for you to speak to others of a situation in which you weren't a part, and to shed false light on it, leaving me with all the blame, is the greatest betrayal of all. You are two-faced and you are weak and you are helpless and you are at the complete mercy of those incapable of caring for you. I'm ashamed to have called you a friend, and for standing up for you on so many occassions. Willpower, keep me strong enough to fight off the loneliness. I will not go back.

Everyone goes away.

I am uncomfortable getting close to anyone, even in friendship, knowing that they will, inevitably, do something to hurt me and, for once, I will have to be strong and walk away; will have to force myself to recognize that no one is as good or important or wonderful as I make them out to be in my mind.
The realization that you over-glamourize those who do not need you at all is a difficult one.
I am so alone.
I am so alone.
I put people on a pedestal who do not even deserve a place at my feet.

Person 3: I gave too much, showed too much; now I am scared to show anything at all. The things about me which you despise were things that others found interesting. I'll now be boring always, because of you.

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