Tuesday, May 12, 2009

to forgive

is divine?

why is forgiveness equated with divinity when all it seems to do is make one a weak person a majority of the time. yes, there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting, but forgiving in my case involves the comprehension of the other's perspective. Once this understanding has been made, it is nearly impossible to hold a grudge, and even more impossible to hold anything against them. Once it is impossible to hold anything against them, you begin to see them as the same person you once did before you were given a reason to be cross with them in the first place. In this way, forgiving and forgetting are far too similar.

i've always been able to see most situations from all sides, making it difficult for me to judge anyone harshly. but i just wish this "divine" process would take me a longer time. when people fuck up big time they deserve for me to be mad at them for some time before i come to understand where they were coming from all along. somehow though, no matter what the damage, it takes but hours or moments for me to turn from steaming mad and angry allison back into understanding and compassionate allison.

i would get hurt a lot less if i weren't so easily forgiving, if i could actually uphold the ability to hate someone.

i am weak.

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